Janay Rice

I guess it's normal for blogs to turn into venting spaces as good news and quick things tend to go to social media forums. I, again, am frustrated.
Just finished reading Think No Evil, the story of a shooting in an Amish school in PA in 2006 and the amazing effect that forgiveness can have when one chooses to forgive. This was a quick and fantastic read. So powerful, but painful for those who have lesser issues they've held onto for years. It was good timing for me. 

Even more interesting for me, though, was the timing that I read this book and then read articles about Janay Rice. For anyone who doesn't follow sports, she is the wife of an NFL player (a really good one at that) whose husband knocked her out cold on an elevator last spring. He went to court and was given the NFL's usual slap-on-wrist.

Fast forward to yesterday (the day after I finished this book about forgiveness), somehow the media got hold of the elevator security video and suddenly it is ALL OVER. This man punching his wife out cold, then dragging her off of the elevator. Now, I'd like to say that there is no excuse for Ray Rice (the husband/NFL player) to knock his wife out. This is not okay. What is more not okay is the number of people who suddenly think they know about the Rice family's life and what they should be doing. What is not okay is that now that the NFL has seen video evidence, the player's slap-on-the-wrist has turned into indefinite suspension from the entire National Football League. Why the change? Why is it suddenly worse now that there's a video of him hitting her?
Janay has come out in her personal social media accounts saying that she's heartbroken that all of this has been brought back up. She and her family had moved on from this incident, but now it's broken back open and she is getting a LOT of flack for being with him. People are calling her stupid and weak for staying with her abuser.
At the time of the incident, the couple was engaged. They got married shortly after that, and they have a beautiful young daughter together. They have moved on. In the video, it looks like she is angry with him and goes to attack him. He hits her as she lunges towards him. Again, this is not okay. He should not have hit her. At all. Ever. However - maybe this was the only time that has ever happened. Maybe he not only apologized, but has gone to counseling with her. Maybe they are TRULY over it and have real forgiveness in their relationship and have created an incredibly healthy family environment for their daughter because of this incident.
But, maybe they haven't.

That's the issue I have - NO ONE KNOWS. None of the media, or these random men and women who think they are giving her advice have ANY idea what's going on in their lives or their home other than this one incident. Who are we to judge? If my whole scenario is correct, God bless her for being a woman strong enough to forgive and move on. And even him for being man enough to humble himself to the point of accepting forgiveness. If not, then yes, sister, get out of there! But, again, we don't know! It breaks my heart that she is going through all the emotions of this happening again! I wonder if she had seen the video beforehand. And shame on you women who have been through something similar and are judging her for her choice to stay! You have no place judging her choices or the environment her daughter is being raised in. If your husband, who you've known since high school and truly, deeply love and respect cheated on you, would you leave him immediately? It might seem like the right thing to do at first, but would it not cause more hurt to both of you later on? Would you not forgive him if he could find a way to make things right again? I know that I would. I feel for her so, so much, and wish there was something I could do to help.

Another thought I had is what would have happened if their roles were reversed? He's a big guy, but she's not petite. What if they had been fighting in the elevator and she knocked him out when he lunged at her? Self defense, I'm guessing... And people would probably be ridiculing him for letting a woman knock him out. And applauding her for defending herself. Do we really want equality?
"It's a funny ol' world, isn't it?"